Courage, Compassion and Connection Are the gifts of imperfection!
In Breńe Browns research, wholehearted people practices these 3 Cs. In order for us to grow in our worthiness, we need to grow in our courage, compassion (to ourselves and not just others) and connection (to others ourselves and God)
Based from a reputable research, our imperfection/ weaknesses/ vulnerabilities , can help us embrace and practice connection, compassion, courage.
When I had a bad day because I did a terrible mistake or I just simply don’t feel enough, I can choose to reach out to my friend and tell her what’s going on and be courageous to accept my mistakes or I can choose to stay at home in a self-pity mode.
Our weaknesses makes us closer to people and makes us connected because we are imperfect humans.
Our weaknesses gives us opportunity to open our lives to others and bring them in to our hearts and lives.
If we act tough and cool all the time, the gifts of CCC will not come. If we don’t say what we need (self-sufficient) , we don’t invite compassion and connection in our lives.
We are not robots that is design for perfection, we are beautiful imperfect humans and we are wired for connection.
That’s what we truly need! You need a lot of connection in your life whether you like it or not.
We can know this by knowledge and still be the same so the Key word here is PRACTICE. Let take a closer look on the meaning of this three magic words.
1.Courage– to be imperfect and courage to accept that we are wrong, courage to ask forgiveness, courage to be real to yourself.
Courage from Latin word “Cor”- heart
courage means To tell the story of who you are with all your heart.
Ordinary courage – being imperfect and still showing up.
If we want our worthiness back we got to choose to be courageous or resentment will always be our companion.
2.Connection – energy between people when they feel heard, seen and valued.
It’s also a result of authenticity. Not faking it.
And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.
How do you describe a children if they are struggling?
- they are real
- they will tell you they are in pain
- they will cry and let you notice it
- they will tell you they need you.
We love children because they are real. The more we get older the more we become less vulnerable.
We should strive to have that childlike heart too. If we want to go back to one another we need to see the heart of a child.
We are humans who are made to connect.
WE ARE WIRED FOR CONNECTION
The more I learn and realized this, the more I am amazed how great our creator is. we are so complex . We are created to love, because our creator is LOVE Himself.
1 John 4:8(NIV)
“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
3.Compassion– Latin work “pati” and “cum” means To suffer with
How do you respond when you made careless mistake at work?To me I usually feel down on myself and will say something like “stupid me, or I hate myself”.
How do you respond when someone you truly treasure as a friend made a mistake?
To me I will tell her, “it’s ok no worries you can try again, you are human”
Is there something wrong there? I think so.
If we can be compassionate to others, why can’t we be for our own selves?
We need to be compassionate with your self first before others.
Our tendency when we are in vulnerable situation or in Pain is we self protect! That’s the natural
When we self protect we find who is to be blamed but we need to practice compassion instead of blame.We blame and shield ourselves by judging others . We disconnect when we do that.
To suffer with means to accept yourself , feel for yourself and be compassionate.
Wholehearted people also fully embraced vulnerability.
Vulnerability– core shame and struggle of worthiness, but it’s also birthplace of love, creativity, belonging.
– Brene Brown
If we numb vulnerability because we are afraid, we don’t want pain, we don’t want the exposure unfortunately we also numb love, joy, belonging.
We can’t numb vulnerability of we want to live wholeheartedly.
What stops CCC? SHAME AND FEAR
It is the killer of our worthiness.
If we give power to shame and fear to control our lives, CCC cannot thrive and we will not grow in our worthiness.
But if we keep on practicing connection, compassion and courage, we will grow in shame resilience and fear cannot control our lives anymore. That’s the hope that we have. CCC IS OUR HOPE.
We will practice courage, connection and compassion together so we will cultivate worthiness.
Till next time.